Fostering and Theology

I am not a theologian. My husband is (although I’m sure he would deny it) and I am blessed with great friends with great minds that understand great things. But while I’m not a theologian, I’m very aware lately of the things that God has been teaching me about Himself through the process of fostering.
I have realized in the last few months that I had unknowingly been believing things about God that are not true. I don’t know where those misconceptions came from – my fears, most likely. But God has graciously been sorting the truth from the lies in my life, and I am so thrilled to see things a little more clearly.
Here are some of the things I’m processing:
1. God desires to give good gifts to His children (Matthew 7:7-11).
For a very long time I’ve operated under the assumption that whatever I ask for God will give me the opposite just to teach me a lesson. I was petrified a month ago as we prepared to walk into a courtroom to find out if Little Miss would, in fact, be ours. Underneath my prayers was the fear that God would not act on my behalf because He could teach me more that way. What a perversion of the Gospel of grace! Our God is not vindictive. He is not manipulative. As much as my Dad delights in giving us good things my Heavenly Father does more so. This doesn’t mean that God will always give me what I want (how often does my heart want the wrong thing??). But it does mean that our God hears us, answers us, does not abandon us, and uses many many ways to teaches about Himself. I’m so grateful.
2. Our adoption into God’s kingdom is a big deal (Romans 11).
John and I are LONGING for June to hurry up and get here. Everyone seems to be shooting for an adoption date mid-June. I have pictured that day for almost 10 months now. But I still can’t fathom what it will feel like to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Little Miss is a permanent part of our family. A Redfearn at last! Everything that comes along with being a Redfearn will be hers, and no matter how much our family changes her status in it will not. She will, in an instant, inherit our great wealth (yeah right!), our families, our history, and will forever be part of our legacy.
Same goes for us. We are not leftovers, beggars, orphans with no hope. We are made sons and daughters, heirs of Christ. We are part of His family. Forever.

This is a lot for me to process. Thank you for letting me talk through it with you.

Overflowing with Thankfulness

It’s Thankful Tuesday and I am overflowing with thankfulness.
Last Thursday was one of the best days of our lives. In a matter of minutes, with John and I on the edge of our seats, the judge declared that Little Miss will be ours. After more than 8 months we will finally be her forever family.
We are officially out of the mandatory 90 day waiting period on May 13 (the day after Mothers’ Day – how appropriate!) and the tentative adoption date is set for June 14 (the Friday before Fathers’ Day – are you kidding me, Lord?!? What a gift!). We are continuing to ask The Lord for His favor in this time of waiting. He is able to see us to the end.
I wish I could put into words the way we feel. We are overwhelmed by the hundreds (literally!) of prayers, texts, messages, and emails from our friends, family, and strangers yet family in Christ. We’ve been part of the miracle of seeing the power of prayer, and we are humbled. We’ve slept better in the last few days than we have in months. Small moments seem to be filled with new wonder (cheesy, but true!); giggles are sweeter, fits are a reminder of the blessing and huge responsibility God has given us in allowing us to raise Tiny Baby. I feel like acting out the dancing-in-the-street scene from 500 Days of Summer. I feel like Buddy the Elf, “I’m in love, I’m in love and I don’t care who knows it!” We’re blubbering messes over here, and we are so grateful for it. I can’t even imagine what that adoption day will be like!

In love He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which He has blessed us in the Beloved. Ephesians 1:4b-6

Thank you for celebrating with us!

Birthday Bash!

Little Miss had her big birthday party this weekend, and it was legendary! I am so overwhelmed thinking back on the generosity of our friends and family, some of whom traveled hours to take part in the festivities.

We enjoyed the GORGEOUS day by spending most of the party outside. The grownups ate cookies and cake, the big kids busted open a VERY well stocked dinosaur pinata (thank you, John, for buying the good candy), and the babies enjoyed wagon rides and going down the baby slide.

Little Miss was showered with many many beautiful and fun things – lots of new clothes and toys to enjoy for a long time! The best part for us was enjoying our family and friends loving on our little girl. We are so grateful.

 

Big Girl

Our sweet Little Miss turned one on Sunday! Her birthday blowout is on Friday, so more to come after the weekend.
This has been a big week for our tiny baby. She turned one, then we headed up to Oklahoma to lead worship for a family retreat with FBC Tyler. It was a blessing to get to lead those sweet families – we were blessed by how they love don us and our sweet girl. We got home late yesterday after a detour in Gainesville to see Bootsie and Granddaddy (always a highlight!) and had big moment #2 – Little Miss took her first steps! 3 tiny but decisive steps straight into my arms. Thrill of my heart! What a joy to see her determined and proud face.

I know you are all anxious for an update on where we stand with Little Miss’ court case. We’re anxious for an update too. We’re in the uncomfortable “waiting room of silence” as Shane and Shane once put it. We have no idea when the judge will make a ruling, no idea of any timeline at all. It’s a hard, stressful, trying place to be. We’re choosing to believe that no news is good news and that God is still, in fact, in control. Please keep praying with us, that The Lord will give us favor with the judge, that decisions will be made in the near future, and that the peace of Christ will rule in our hearts as we wait.
We love you guys! Pictures of the most awesome first birthday party of all time coming soon!

What’s Been Happening

An update on the latest with Little Miss is long overdue. I’m going to try to give you a picture of what has happened in the last week, but I am going to be a little vague just to ensure that I’m not crossing any legal boundaries. Please feel free to message me or email me and I’ll be happy to give more details that way.
Big news: Little Miss has courageous parents. Last Monday they relinquished their rights to their beautiful girl. I cannot imagine how difficult that decision must have been. John and I are so grateful for their decision to do the hard thing.
Does this mean Little Miss is ours forever? Not yet. Making a long story short, the judge will have to decide where her home will be – with us or with another family. We could know something as early as next Wednesday but we are preparing our hearts for a longer road.
Please be praying for wisdom for the judge as she makes her decision. Of course our hope and prayer is that she will pick us to be the forever family for Little Miss. Pray that He would give her lawyer the words to say and that the judge will have open ears to hear the truth.
We are beyond thankful for an ever-shortening road, but of course our hearts will not rest until Little Miss is firmly planted in our home as she already is in our hearts. We could not be more thankful for the prayers you have prayed and continue to pray on our behalf.
We love you. We’ll keep you updated!

Our little Valentine.

Weekend Fun!

This weekend was so much fun! We decided to take advantage of the balmy February weekend to get some quality time outdoors. We strapped Little Miss (or Tiny Baby as we now affectionately our little 50th percentile bundle of joy) into the baby backpack and headed out to camp with a picnic and our two dogs.

What followed was one of our favorite dates ever! We spent a little over 2 hours exploring the woods and trails out at camp. The dogs loved the freedom, Tiny Baby loved the sights, and we loved getting to talk and laugh and explore new places. Here’s some of my favorite moments:

This was a HUGE hill that we didn’t quite realize was so huge until we had committed. I stopped only once to catch my breath take stunning pictures of my loves.

Thanks for the secure ride, Dad!

Nothing like snuggling after a long hike!

Oh, and you know that settlement conference that was supposed to happen at the end of February? It’s tomorrow (or today, since most of you are probably reading this on Monday). It’s from 3-5. We would love your prayers – prayers for wisdom and courage all around. I don’t even know what else to ask you to pray for; I’m so thankful on days like this for Jesus who intercedes on my behalf. We love you and are thankful for your support, encouragement, and prayers. We’ll keep you updated!

Long Weekend!

This weekend Em, Little Miss, and I headed down to K-town for a long weekend with my parents (John was at a men’s conference, so he enjoyed the weekend vicariously through our photo stream).
Highlights:
- Dad restored our old red wagon. Little Miss LOVED her some wagon rides! She held on to the sides with her little tiny hands and her teddy bear in her lap. It was really too cute for words.

- Little Miss enjoyed her first basketball game! We went to the Baylor women’s basketball game with my parents and a few of their friends. It was so fun! We ate a TON of food at George’s, bit our nails at the game, and played pass the baby. Thanks for letting us crash the party, Bishops and Highs (and Dunns!)!
- Watching Little Miss roll around on the floor with mom, dad, and Emily. They adore her and she sure loves them.
- Church on Sunday. I love my Dad’s Sunday school class. I cannot tell you how many people stopped and asked me about how Little Miss’ court date went on Thursday. I’m so thankful for the hundreds of people across the country praying for us on this journey.

Court went really well on Thursday! Nothing really changed, which was actually a huge answer to prayer. We got some good minutes in front of the judge, for which we were very thankful. We’ve still got a long road ahead, but we are hopeful. The next big day is February 25 – the settlement conference (which is super confusing trying to explain), which is a big step. We’ll keep you updated.

We love you guys! I hope your weekend was super fun as well!