I am not a theologian. My husband is (although I’m sure he would deny it) and I am blessed with great friends with great minds that understand great things. But while I’m not a theologian, I’m very aware lately of the things that God has been teaching me about Himself through the process of fostering.
I have realized in the last few months that I had unknowingly been believing things about God that are not true. I don’t know where those misconceptions came from – my fears, most likely. But God has graciously been sorting the truth from the lies in my life, and I am so thrilled to see things a little more clearly.
Here are some of the things I’m processing:
1. God desires to give good gifts to His children (Matthew 7:7-11).
For a very long time I’ve operated under the assumption that whatever I ask for God will give me the opposite just to teach me a lesson. I was petrified a month ago as we prepared to walk into a courtroom to find out if Little Miss would, in fact, be ours. Underneath my prayers was the fear that God would not act on my behalf because He could teach me more that way. What a perversion of the Gospel of grace! Our God is not vindictive. He is not manipulative. As much as my Dad delights in giving us good things my Heavenly Father does more so. This doesn’t mean that God will always give me what I want (how often does my heart want the wrong thing??). But it does mean that our God hears us, answers us, does not abandon us, and uses many many ways to teaches about Himself. I’m so grateful.
2. Our adoption into God’s kingdom is a big deal (Romans 11).
John and I are LONGING for June to hurry up and get here. Everyone seems to be shooting for an adoption date mid-June. I have pictured that day for almost 10 months now. But I still can’t fathom what it will feel like to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Little Miss is a permanent part of our family. A Redfearn at last! Everything that comes along with being a Redfearn will be hers, and no matter how much our family changes her status in it will not. She will, in an instant, inherit our great wealth (yeah right!), our families, our history, and will forever be part of our legacy.
Same goes for us. We are not leftovers, beggars, orphans with no hope. We are made sons and daughters, heirs of Christ. We are part of His family. Forever.
This is a lot for me to process. Thank you for letting me talk through it with you.